How To Train A Human: Introduction

My name is Meggidy Mags. This is the story of my life.

I never thought this day would come. Everyone in the family told me to be patient, but I’ve been alive now for over four months and my supply of patience is fast running out. There doesn’t seem to be much hope left, but I try my best to look on the bright side. When I can find it.

It’s not that I don’t like living here, but it’s just so crowded. Our caretaker does her best, but there never seems to be enough food or water, or a clean enough litter box, for me. It’s not easy being the youngest of the clowder; there are 16 cats ahead of me so I have to wait for everything. There’s always someone shoving me aside, hissing at me, or swatting me with claws extended even though there’s a house rule against it. It’s getting old, really fast.

Mom and Dad have told me stories about living with just one caretaker, about being lord of the manor, the way a cat should be. I dream about that with every nap I take—four or five a day—longing for my turn in the sun, so to speak. But so few people ever come here, and those that do aren’t interested in cats. Besides, they are scary. They yell and they stomp around without looking where they are going. They often kick over our food bowls and even the litter boxes. They even kicked Benny once when he got too close; he still limps because of it. Merline’s tail has a permanent crimp from being stepped on.

I don’t like those people at all. I hide when they pull into the driveway.

But Mom promised me that my time would come. My dreams would come true. And maybe today is the day. Because I got that fuzzy feeling Mom talked about when I saw the tall woman with the long dark hair come out of the house and sit down on the top porch step, that feeling that said, ‘This is the one.’ I had watched her go in earlier, watched her walk around like she owned the place even though I’d never seen her before. She wasn’t one of the stompers. She has an air about her, a confident authority, like she’s the ruler. Like she knows everything.

But she doesn’t. She really doesn’t have a clue, poor thing. I know she needs me. And both Mom and Dad have given me their licks of approval. So, here I go. I’m going to crawl up on her and move in with her and make her my slave. I’m going to teach her what life is really all about. I’m going to teach her who really rules the roost. 

I’m going to realize my dream, have my own place, and finally Train A Human!

About Susan Tuttle

Susan Tuttle is a professional freelance editor, writing instructor and multi-award winning author of 21 books—6 nonfiction on writing (Write It Right), 6 suspense novels and 7 collections of award-winning short stories. She also has stories in both volumes of "Deadlines", the new anthology from the Central Coast Chapter of Sisters in Crime (SinC), Tales from a Rocky Coast, and the SLO NightWriter anthology. Under the pen name Susan Grace O'Neill, she is the author of the Journey With Jesus series: Lord, Let Me Grow (Parables) vol. 1, and Lord, Let Me Walk (Lent). She is currently working on volume #2 of her Skylark P.I. series (a PI with paranormal abilities), as well as 2 YA fantasy series. And she teaches fiction writing in both the morning and afternoon every Wednesday. Email her if you're interested in joining her class. And follow her on Twitter and FaceBook.